Watsky vs. Cera Back Story.

Posted on May 9, 2008
michael, please have some understanding

Two days ago, on a brisk walk through the east village, I bumped into who I thought was my good friend George Watsky. I will say that I was brazilian sushi bound, judgment thus impaired, plus both of my eyes were swollen from seasonal allergies. I give a huge wave to “George”, and was shocked to see my good friend cover his face and attempt to brush past me.

Watsky. What up, kid? It’s me, Chinaka. From Poetry and stuff. Love what you’re doing with the vocorder and trumpet. We gotta link on this Watsky for President jumpoff…

No response.

What the hell? I mean, I understand you’re hot stuff now George– rocking fur collars at the SF Opera House, bout be junior standing at Emerson and all. But homie, you have to say what up. It’s for the love. Bay Area, and all that, fam. Why you trying to son me, yo?

So I stare George down real hard and all, and to my intense embarassment, it’s not my literary bosom buddy, but the lesser known, albeit very talented Michael Cera– who doesn’t know me from Adam.

Spaz, Michael, my bad, it’s just that you look O.D. like a friend of mine, and I thought you were trying to act like you don’t know… And I mean you’re a great actor and all, really love what you did in that baby movie, but you know I just got really excited that I was running into THE George Watksy Experience, you know?

And Mikey was real understanding and all, extra Hollywood, peace zen aura scone, mentioned something about getting green tea powder on his pinkberry, and got ghost real soon. So I was a little embarrassed, but figured it was all good. Was going to shout him out at Thickwit, add him to the list of celebrities seen by anti-bossip, but he beat me to the punch.

George calls me out of the blue, because he respects my gangster and knows I’ve been dealing with threats a bit recently, and wanted my advice. He got this crazy note from someone claiming to be Mike Cera, asking him to leave the nerd niche alone.

So this post is for Michael. I don’t know whether or not you wrote a note to George– and this could be all circumstantial, but if I in any way offended you, I’m sorry. I know you’ve spent a good deal of money, time and heart trying to claw your way out of the shadow of George V. Watsky. I don’t want to downplay your efforts, and I heard Superbad really was a brilliant film. Heard good things about Juno too. I understand that you and G. Watts have similar fan bases, and are often at the same auditions. He’s really sorry that he beat you out for lead vocalist in Invisible Inc., and I promise to take a serious look at your manuscript for the next round of First Word books.

Let’s get you on, Michael. There’s space enough in the dork kingdom for both of you. I hear they’re remaking Weird Science. How awesome would a collabo be? That’s money. Let’s keep this peace. Let’s keep agents out of this, and lawsuits. I’d hate to have to find our handwriting specialist and link you to the note on legal pad. Restraining orders make it really hard at call backs.

That’s not a threat.

All Love,


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